(A major part of the journey for me was creating victim and deprivation scenarios often linked to romantic flights of fancy. I clearly wasn’t in my place of power and yet each ‘aha!’ acted on takes back a little bit of what I unwittingly gave away.)

I’ve been trying to relieve my loneliness by hooking on to someone where there’s some kind of connection. This is another aspect of deprivation thinking; because my initial excitement and projections about the connection are far more than she or reality in general can deal with. So what happens is the inevitable let down which is huge. In effect I’ve committed to a down side in feeling and by falsely imagining the connection rather than being present with it, have reinforced my loneliness even more. It’s amazing how many ways there are to be a victim!